Cheesy Tosser's: Wargaming Rules for a Village Sporting Event

Welcome to Cheesy Tosser's a tabletop miniatures game with a fun sporting theme.

Think Bloodbowl meets the middle ages, a football rugby mashup between two opposing villages all with a bit of light hearted fun.

The rules have been written to create a fast paced, easy to learn game especially suitable for a fun evening, club or show game.

These rules are diceless, instead using a deck of standard playing cards to add friction and resolve the mechanics.

Players have a hand of three cards which they can use individually or chain together to activate one or multiple team members.

The aim? to hit the opponents pub with the cheese!

Options for multiplayer and alternate settings also included, along with access to a Tabletop simulator module, player roster and QRS.

Men and women have been daft for hundreds of years now. Examples of what can happen when boredom, beer and too much sunshine mix can be seen in our countryside culture and folklore. Village games and rivalry date back to the Doomsday book and still hold a place in our national pride. One such tradition and probably the original concept for the games of football and rugby, was the Annual Langtoft and Baston Cheese tossing. It involved teams of locals from each respective village attempting to cover the front of the opposing village’s pub in stinking cheese. Often participants were drunk and sometimes dressed inappropriately, we’ve all known a village idiot! Records show no one was ever fatally injured, more through luck than judgment. Play continued until everyone was too tired to carry on, had had enough or the landlord of the respective pub could stand the stench no more and offered a truce by way of a wagon load of Badgers Bite Brown Ale and the subsequent piss up to the conquering village. Such fun has even witnessed festive games played using Christmas puddings instead of cheese and decorated hard boiled dragons’ eggs at Easter!